Summer of Ian

Well, I'd like to NHL jerseys officially welcome you to the Summer of Ian.
With the Ottawa Senators out of the playoff picture, I have more downtime than I've ever experienced in this job. And while I don't plan on taking up Frisbee Golf like Costanza, I do have four things planned for the coming weeks:


A few months ago, I wrote an entry about how I've never watched the movie Slapshot. Over the Christmas holidays, my brother-in-law thoughtfully purchased the Slapshot trilogy for me. The movies have remained wrapped in the original plastic, as I briefly contemplated trading them straight-up for the Look Who's Talking Trilogy. But in the coming weeks, I plan to watch all three Slapshot movies. And here's the kicker: I'm going to watch them in reverse order. I'll be the first person in history to watch Slapshot 3, then Slapshot 2 and finish with the original Slapshot. (Come to think of it, I might become the first person to ever watch Slapshot 3).
During the daily grind of reporting on the Ottawa Senators, I'm unable to tackle serious questions that have been burning on my mind. Questions such as: What is the real story behind Stu Jackson's funny-looking eyebrow? What ever happened to Floyd Youmans? Can I make the old Hartford Whalers theme song my ring tone? Is Stan Humphries the worst quarterback to ever play in the Super Bowl? I will have the answers to these questions by the end of the summer. (Provided I can shut down Bo Jackson by the middle of July).


I could never figure out how to consistently stop Bo Jackson in the original Tecmo Bowl game. Was anyone else's childhood haunted by this? I'm going to devote countless hours to my original Nintendo system and devise elaborate defensive schemes to shut down the Raiders running attack. And when I have successfully come up with a gameplan, I will post it for everyone to see. My wife would probably prefer that I spend my time doing something productive for my household. But let's be honest, shutting down the 1988 version of Bo Jackson is the most important thing on the Mendes family agenda.


I will send out an e-mail to all of my friends this week, to officially launch the first-ever IIHF World Hockey Championship pool to be started by someone living outside of Europe. Would you take Freddie Brathwaite over Martin Gerber? You could cut the tension with a knife. I'm even thinking of serving scones and tea at the draft party to give the whole thing a real European flair.

FBFF
The NHL jerseys time has come for me to announce the winner of my Facebook Friends contest. I'd like to start by saying that this ranks as one of the five toughest decisions I've ever had to make in my life:
1988 - Do I hang up the poster of Mats Naslund or Alyssa Milano in my Gr. 7 locker?
1992 - Should I get a Delino DeShields jersey?
1996 - Do I start watching Party of Five like everybody else?
2000 - Should I tell my wife that Cooperstown is a potential honeymoon destination?
2009 - Who do I pick as the winner of my Facebook Friends contest?
Having to choose just one person was difficult, so I would like to take the time to acknowledge the runner-ups in this contest. The following users had terrific entries, but just came up short:
Grapeape: I was ready to pick you when you said that you were a stripper. But when you revealed that you were actually a male who stripped floors for a living, that was too much for me to forgive. You put me on an emotional roller coaster. (BTW: The lack of females who entered this contest was extremely humbling and my reputation as one of the biggest players in the Canadian media scene is now ruined).

Warren: I would have selected you as the winner, until you mentioned that one of the highlights of your life was being interviewed by TSN's Brent Wallace. Not cool.

btwilly: Your submission for the contest was fascinating: "Don't pick me or I swear to God I'll jump." I seriously considered picking you as the winner, but the Sportsnet legal department didn't think it was such a wise idea.

Koosh: You wrote an entire poem dedicated to me. At first it seemed like a cool entry...and then I started to get creeped out. What if we became Facebook Friends and you started mailing me things where all the letters were cut out from a magazine? And then if things went sour, I could see you putting my face on a Spartacat plush toy and using it as a voodoo doll.

Mooner: You almost had me with your offer to hook me up with Kit Kat Blizzards. However, since DQ has now discontinued the Kit Kat Blizzards, I'm not sure how you were going to follow through on your plan. Were you just going to smash a Kit Kat Bar into little pieces and then sprinkle them into a soft serve vanilla sundae every time I had a craving for a Kit Kat Blizzard? That seems a little unrealistic to me.

IanSendes: I didn't really like your submission, but part of me wanted to pick you as the winner just so I could find out who you really are. IanSendes is such a great user name....and sometimes I lie awake at night wondering who you are.

But, the winner of the Facebook Friends contest is Axiom. Your submission was:

"Ever since I was a little boy, I wanted to grow up to be you. You are the wind beneath my wings Ian, and I cannot think of anything better than to know what kind of cereal you are eating at 3 am. I must admit though that I am disappointed in your choice of cinnamon toast crunch over count chocula. As an avid sens fan I also wish to enjoy such drunken pics as youwith a leafs jersey.
Besides, I'm an amazing g-list celebrity, having acted in a school play. That alone means you need me."
I've decided to select Axiom for the following reasons:
1. He loves cereal and claims that I'm the wind beneath his wings.
2. He is a Sens fan and that makes him less likely to physically assault me if we ever meet in person.
So Axiom - even though you made a Bette Middler reference and said you acted in a school play - I will get your information from our website guys and I'll send you a note so we can become Facebook Friends.

As for everyone else, be sure to watch for future contests in this space. We're planning the following blog contests: "Landscape the Mendes Family Lawn For a Summer" and "Do Ian's Job Whenever a Southeast Division Team Visits Ottawa."